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Need to remember to breathe

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Hey,

everyone has their dark moments, but what happens when you cannot remember what the light looks like? My first bf broke up with me this last valentine's day and I don't know how to deal. I wish the answers would just come to me. I now am doubting everything about me. I feel lost and it's hard to sleep at night. I keep thinking that I was the problem, even though we both were going seperate ways in our education and futures.
There is no problem moving on...other guys were asking me out the week after the breakup. This just made me feel worse. I don't know when I will be ready to move on. I just want him back. How do I get my closure? Is closure even needed to move on?

Verdict: 9.00.

jadedcalay (9.00) | Cali, USA | 5/16/2004 7:19:20 PM

Need to remember to breathe

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As with most things, time will hopefully heal the wounds. Start knitting or something.

Verdict: still out. Log in to rate

mikopanic (unrated) | Ontario, Canada | 8/8/2004 5:48:40 PM

Need to remember to breathe

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Greetings! Sorry to hear about your break up. Been there, done that. You haven't stated your age, but I will assume it's around 20. We aren't taught how to select mates, run relationships because if we were, and if it were sound advice and accurate information, as children, we would begin to question our parents' relationships. So we are left to bump our heads in the night and it doesn't seem as though we're making progress as a society with respect to successful relationships. Philosophers and therapists usually say that we gain when we learn and if it hurts, well, welcome to being human. One would think by now that we would have devised a better way, but not yet. Consider your experience, but don't let it destroy your future, just give yourself some freedom to experience other people and possibly hold off with all the love stuff if that's possible. Thanks for listening. FW

Verdict: still out. Log in to rate

fishwhiskers (unrated) | PA | 11/4/2004 9:22:06 AM

Need to remember to breathe

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Its hard to live when u lose your soul... and a first love can feel like that. I guess we all have to learn that nothing is perfect and it doesnt have to be someones fault for things to go wrong. Time heals all but all wounds to the soul heal to scar tissue. Although it does seem that because its our heart that beats that its how we feel that makes us live, the (sometimes depressing) fact is that we ultimately can change how we feel and think by willing it and doing stuff about it. If you phyically keep busy and get lots of sleep that hurricane of emotions will settle into a calm pool again.

I hope this has helped: I have noticed that life is nastiest to those that least deserve it but in the end it (mostly) works out.

Also, chocolate helps :).

Verdict: still out. Log in to rate

nihlwoolenjumper (unrated) | NZ | 9/16/2004 9:39:06 AM

Need to remember to breathe

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Hey, breakups are hard. Everyone has been there I know I have. Just remember, 1. There is nothing bad about you. 2. It wasn't your fault. 3. Don't move on until you're ready and although now it seems like that will never happen it will. Don't let anyone pressure you into moving on faster than you feel ready for, but don't mope around too long or you will never heal. After a couple weeks you should try to start doing things you used to do, becoming active, sports, shopping, friends are important. Important, always remember you will get through it and live. Don't let him ruin your life when hes not even in it. If he can move on you can too. Hes your first which means you'll have plenty of time to keep dating and find the right guy. Hope that helps!

Verdict: still out. Log in to rate

Blur84 (unrated) | NY | 1/30/2005 8:42:28 PM

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